Time is an abstract concept

This is technically yesterday's post. But, as the title suggests, yesterday and today no longer exist in my world...


Well. What a crazy day/night/yesterday/what day is it?

Yesterday we were supposed to go to yoga at 9pm, and meet Velvet there because she was coming straight from work. We slightly failed there...as by the time we were ready to go it was 8.30 and there's no way you can get from Greene Ave to St Mark's Place on the LES in half an hour. No. Way. So we sort of stood Velvet up...for which we feel very sorry and we made it up to her by helping her gather the ingredients for a cake. At midnight. Then we baked the cake, at 1am. Then we ate the cake, at 2am. We shared it with some hungry Brazilians and a couple of Argentinians. I ate large amounts of icing and felt a bit funny...I could literally feel the sugar entering my brain, it was weird. It was a very delicious and somewhat experimental cake recipe...honey, cinnamon and Snickers Almond. Don't ask. Then everyone went to bed, fair enough, it was nearly 4.

NOT ME!

I did this instead:















Brooklyn Bridge for the sunrise! It was beautiful, almost completely empty and peaceful in spite of the heavy traffic crossing the bridge.

Then I came home, had breakfast and went to BDC for lyrical contemporary...which is where my day started to go wrong. The class was great, we didn't have to do any corner stuff yehoo just lots and lots of routine. I've been feeling twinges in both knees every now and then just walking around and stuff, and the left one was not great all through the class but we didn't do anything particularly dubious...apart from I just remembered...yes we did, there was a whole big drop to the floor spinny round thing...well that'll be it! And then right at the end of class, after we'd done the routine through in groups and got back together to do it one final time all together, in the last 8 counts of the whole thing...CRACK. Left knee ow ow ow pain pain! Couldn't put any weight on it, was a real shock as well and it fudged up the ending of my dance. Thank goodness that's when Tracie stopped the music and dismissed us, so off I limped to the changing room looking like right plank.

The excruciating pain is now gone but it still feels hot and quite tender, so I am currently sitting with frozen strawberries on it. Baah humblebug.

THEN I went home, ate some lunch and snoozed for a couple of hours until Wave woke me up at 4 for our planned excursion to Riverside Park, the long walk along the river. (Then we had a giant argument with a certain housemate who we are still discussing now because he genuinely hurt our feelings and made us very confused by being so frickin rude)

So off we went, and arrived just in time for sunset. Again, very lovely peaceful place - I spent aLOT of time walking up and down Riverside last year and it holds a special place in my heart. It was very quiet, just the odd jogger or cyclist. We walked from 96th to 54th, taking pictures and feeling chilly and enjoying the fresh air off the river.

Then we walked back up to 79th where we had arranged to meet Velvet (we tried extra hard to make this rendez-vous since we missed the last one) made it there for the appointed time of 6.30pm. And this was stupid, because the corner of 79th and Riverside is at a busy crossroads, with no shelter, no coffee shops and a lot of freezing cold wind. Why did we pick this as a meeting place? Simon Cowell only knows. We waited, in the sub-zero temperatures, for half an hour before deciding to give up and run to the subway. Because we are stupid. This is why it's so stupid: Velvet was coming to us from 45th St and 9th Avenue. To 79th and Riverside. When our destination was Brooklyn. Which is nowhere near 79th St. It is in the opposite direction. Do you see the logic? No because there is none.
Anyway. Ran to the subway, travelled back to Brooklyn in search of a mysterious eatery known as 'The Meat Place' which isn't its real name. Wave has been waxing lyrical about it for a while.

Oh my giddy aunt.

WHAT a meat place. It was epic. Ribs, pork belly, pulled pork, sausages, brisket, more ribs...and all the extras, basked beans, coleslaw, potato salad. And a huge whisky bar.
I had a 1/4lb of ribs, 1/4lb pulled pork, 1 spicy sausage and portion of a burnt-end baked beans. Wave had 1lb of pulled pork (!!!) and also got the baked beans. It was so very very delicious. I haven't eaten much meat since I've been here, mostly because I can't afford to. So you can imagine how I fell on my food. I'm a biiiiig meat fan.


This is what a pound of pulled pork looks like.

This is what two hungry carnivores look like.

Very full and content, we hauled ourselves out and back to Loftstel. The first thing we heard was Velvet saying 'UGH...you guys smell like a hot dog!' Apparently being in the presence of that much barbecue meat doesn't go away easily. And Kait and Velvet are ve getarians, so they loved us a lot.

Anyway. Although there was some unpleasant incidents, I had a great day yesterday. I accomplished a lot. i went for two long walks, saw a sunrise and a sunset, two beautiful views, one great dance class, one delicious meal/new discovery and lots of time spent with a good friend. Wave is pretty much too cool for school.

Ok, so...today's life lessons...

One: My knee hurts. There is a dancer's injury clinic that's free on the 28th so me and Charles are going. Hopefully this will help.
Two: Umm...I don't think a numbered list is the way to do this.

As I mentioned, I fell out with someone who shall remain nameless today. And Wave did too. We had made these plans to go to Riverside the day befor yesterday, we were all excited, worked out where we were going afterwards for beer and free pizza, who was going to wake who up even. And then when we did wake up this person, they shut the door on us and locked it. And they were the only one who knew where the beer/pizza place is. After we'd established that he wasn't coming with us we at least tried to get the address of the place and got a useless mumbled response. I was absolutely fuming. We went off and had fun, but when we got back I was fuming all over again because he seemed to think it was all a big joke. Now, I did think that we did the same thing to Velvet when we stood her up at yoga. Main differences: we immediately apologised, those plans were pretty vague anyway, she was with a co-worker so not left alone and we didn't deliberately back out and shut doors on people we're just crap at being on time.
Here's why I was (and still am) angry: we had plans, you don't just bail on them at the last second.
Having doors shut in your face hurts your feelings.
If you do change your mind about plans and don't want to go, say something. Don't lock yourself in your room like a child.
If you've hurt someone's feelings, or bailed on plans at the last minute, it's common courtesy to say SORRY
Whatever beef you have with the world or whatever, it's so unfair to take it out on the people who are trying to be good friends to you and KEEP TO THEIR PLANS THAT INVOLVE YOU

And what I learned from this experience -
Some people just want to exist in a state of misery and drama and not allow friends into their life - this is not my problem. You can try to reach out to them and be their friend but if they won't let you there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO and you shouldn't have to. At some point they will wake up and realise noone can survive as an island but til then don't worry about it.
Some people haven't grown up enough to deal with their feelings in a way that doesn't hurt other people - this is not my problem either
If someone locks a door in your face they're not worth bothering about
If someone is too stubborn/proud/rude/whatever to make a simple apology for backing out on plans last-minute (that's not asking much is it?!) then they aren't worth bothering with.

It's a shame because previously I got on with this person very well. But something else I learned - I don't want to always be Tessa the Amazing Doormat girl. Often in these situations I will just say nothing, or I will apologise even if it's nothing to do with me, just to keep the peace. I don't like conflict amongst my friendship groups at all. Or in the world in general. I am definitely a peace-loving being. But I really stuck up for myself and Wave yesterday - we both had principles that got violated, feelings that got hurt and time that got wasted fretting about something tht was not our problem - it was someone else's lame, pathetic issue. And although I still don't like arguing with people, it was damn good to speak my mind and not take any prisoners, because I sometimes get the feeling everyone here thinks my brain is made of rainbows and I don't know what angry means. Since I've been here (and in general) I've been so laid back I'm almost horizontal. I let everything go, if someone says something stupid or arrogant or insulting I just go 'whatever'. Which is why I'm now 'the permanently smiley optimistic one'. Good to break out of your pigeonhole.
So I suppose what I'm saying in a rambling kind of way is that I don't like conflict and I don't like losing friends, but sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and not let people just get away with things. Everyone is responsible. People who think they can do hurtful things and not take responsibility for it are not worth bothering with. Hey, everything about my life is really different in New York - it would be silly not to take the opportunity and try and change some things about myself for the better too. So now I am 'the smiley optimistic one you don't want to cross'. At least I hope I am.

This is me and Sam and we are on TV! (We use laptops to watch movies by hooking them up to the TV downstairs sometimes, and this is my current laptop background! Hey Sammy Bee)

I have some really fab friends! Happy days, peace and love and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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